Ramadan; A Chronical of Events

Nothing comes close to the immense feeling of stupidity that follows a perilous dive into the unsure. Truly is the Joy of it compared to that of pooping for the first time, or taking a long awaited bath after a week of exercise and work-outs *Funky*, either of which i unfortunately have no memory of.

But a while back, near the end of yet another holy day of Ramadan, i decided to go running. It had been a long time since i had done anything worth burning calories. From the late night Magluba fetishes, to the fat-filled, soft centered, oh-so-sweet "Date Qatayef", moms Ramadan Trademark (co-patented with my dad), i was getting fatter by the day. All the reason to push me into this long-awaited sprint. As i put on my clothes, a black "Dubai Cares" shirt that brought back memories, but was usually worn because it made me look thinner, which by dear god was dearly needed at that moment. And my florescent red "Miami Heats" shorts. Yes, Miami will win the playoffs this year. Calls of warning and dismay followed me as i exited my home. "Lets run at night called out my little sister". "Don't be stupid, its almost "Iftar" time", howled both my parents. Like a man tenacious of his faith, i left the house. Fumes of different colorful foods painted a mindful canvas as i exited the elevator door. Rainbows of different spices, soups and edible animal parts began to take over my incoherent brain. Their fusions almost caused me to retreat, ALMOST. Resisting the urge to go back up and suffer the humiliation of not being able to complete my ambition, i left the building as fast as i could.

Finally, fresh air. The wind blew softly, and the sky shown with a sanguine orange. The almost empty streets a testament to this holy months daily ritual. And there was even some stragglers committing the my bludgeoned crime. Looking west i witnessed the yellow one melting into the dead horizon, tired after a long days work. Stretching my immobile limbs, i felt alive!

Picking up pace, the wind blew faster. I felt the blood rushing to compensate the lack of oxygen. My lungs were rusty, and out of shape. My heart pounding, overclocked and amazed at the fact it had more to do then pump fat all over the place. As i drew a zig-zaged path behind me, one even "Solid Snake" himself would find hard to track. I noticed a different pallet up ahead. One of rust and poop. Contrasting with the boring grey street, i noticed it from far away. As my nervous system bombarded my brain with signals of "Yes" and "No", my malnourished brain responded with a cynical "Ha Ha, your the man, YOUR EPIC, YOUR FASTING, god is with you!". Forgetful of the fact i was usually either wrong or spitefully over-confident when fasting, i leaped.

And it was in the air that floating scenes of a lot of the very stupid things i had done, flashed before my eyes. Jumping off a high wall, chasing my sister on very unstable steps, and trying to get a rebound off a very tall guy were all dopey causes of some type of injury in the past.

Like a patient coming out of his coma trying to process what had happened just before he slept i looked around. Standing up breathing hard and feeling dim, i tried to recap. And it all came back, the mud, the jump and the memories. The adhesive substance had sent me flying, head forward. My hand began to sting and i noticed i had scraped my right thumb. Blood and mud mixed, it hurt but not as much as my pride. As i observed the scene of the incident, i noticed people staring. Shaking heads flew by with grins perpetuating humiliation. The walk home felt longer for some reason. Ignoring the questionable stares with a head held high and smudged brown, i headed to where i could hide.

Laughter was present that night. Not of this months fails in televised comedy, but of the fact i had gone out for what turned out to be around 7 minutes of exercise and came back with a face full of mud. Turns out getting drenched in mud makes up for some good comic relief in the family. That friends is why you should never not listen to parents, in Ramadan of course. Its like the only time they ever make sense, some sense at least.

This posts' song you have to listen to is the soothing and astronomical "Life On Earth" by Band Of Horses.